I R back.
Where was I?..
Errr..Me was kinda busy taming a dragon and teaching it some good toilet manners. Well..Not exactly ,I got buried under a landslide, then had to dig all the way down to China.
[Q: Isn’t China all the way up? Ans:Well if you are buried under a landslide ,direction is relative]
Now..Where was I?
Yeah…had to dig all the way yup to China, dodge some serious PSB ,then sling across the Great Wall of China on a Made in China ACME sling.
You are staring at the screen as if you ain’t believing what I said. Right?
Noooo..Don’t nod your head too fast that way, you may dislodge your pea-brain from its tentacles.
Okay!!! Lemme tell you the truth…psstt..psstt..I was learning to stick my head…. in a jet engine.
Why not me? Why wasn't it me? - Just academic curiosity, you understand.
But…a Big But actually…
I did come back just like Santa Clause, [Nope!! My sack ain’t red though.] with a present for my awesome blog readers.
Presenting to you LONA MISA, Au naturel, in her awesome glow thing without much thing. This lil orchid, la petite femme is Created on Ze Canvas with Oil ze Painto. [There is a popular misconception that adding ‘Ze’ makes the sentence look more Frenchish.]
[Painting.Photographed in two modes of lighting]
Medium:Oil on CanvasDimension:60.96 X 91.44 Centimeters
When my knowledgeable friend [That friend of mine is strictly G.I. -- Gibbering Idiot!] saw this painting, he had a few questions to ask, which I thought, would share with you , just to help you in case, the same questions are haunting you like a civil unrest in your stomach.
1)Sorcy, are you a pervert?
Ans:Hmmm…Errr…Yeah. It looks good on me with this straw hat.
2)Are you obsessed with b**bs?
Ans:Yeah..They always make me..I mean make everyone. I believe in the theory that when I speak, I speak for everyone.
4)Do you have a name for her..I mean the chick in the painting?
Ans:CHICK???HOOOH!!!She must be called the LONA MISA.
5)Why aint she dressed Sorcy?
Ans:Hmm…I seriously don’t want any researchers doing some awesome art research on the painting after a few centuries and then forming theories that I am not straight.[Lookie what happened to Da Vinci.].To Quote myself ”The only thing I got straight in my life is my orientation”. I wish so to 'uphold' that and the thing that goes along with it straight.
6)Who is LONA MISA?
Ans;I seriously don’t know. I was just Googling up some images of tattoo and found the photograph of this pink cabbage wearing tattoo worth painting.
7)What exactly is the dimension?
Ans:Hmm…From the best of my assessment , she should be a 36 E.
8)I meant the dimension of the painting...What is it..Tell me what is it..What is it tell me?
Ans: Owkay! Hmm Da painting you meant?..it is 3ft by 2ft. It's pretty large [Input:Dramatic Pause] painting.
9)Where you gonna hang this painting? In your bedroom?
Ans:Errr..No Thank you.I do have my wood mornings everyday. Don't need the help of a painting.
10) How do you find time to paint?
Ans:Yeah,really serious question.First thing you should do is look around, where you have kept all your clothes,piled up like mt Everest.Then Slowly take a deep breathe,take a few steps backward,gently...very gently size up the piled up clothes....Run towards it and dive into it..Frantically..search for that..[Yes, you are allowed to make weird voices and make faces like you are having an orgasm while searching for it]. Viola..you will find that it has managed to get entangled with your hands. Found one?Yeah..wear it. Cultivate clean habits. [I know Britney and Hilton will differ with me on this.].To Summarize..You don't find time...Time finds you!!
11)What inspires you to paint?
Ans:A nice cup of STFU and potato wafers.
12) How can you get started on painting?
Ans:Repeat after me: I will Google before asking stupid questions.
13)When will you ever paint something with clothes on?Ans:HOOH!! I ALWAYS paint with my clothes ON. It helps me stand closer to the canvas.